06 July, 2010

digital media

Now here's a subject the repeal of the law on downloading media.
What the last administration did was to rush through a law that wasn't properly thought out and it makes civil liberties look obsolete. Lets look at it another way. Lets say you have a CD that you brought from a shop. Your friend wants to borrow it. I do believe under the present law of copyright you are breaking the law and if I am reading things right if your friend goes ahead and copies it then he's definitely doing so.
You brought the CD legally and if so, Then that CD is your's and what's on the CD is also your's and if you are good to your friends you lend it to them. Now that is your choice because it belongs to you to do as you please. It's the same with the internet friends swap music and movies but like myself I sometimes download something I am not supposed to. I am not the only one. The thing is I pay a site so I can download but am now told this is illegal. So what is the solution. I for one would buy my movies and music if they they were cheaper. £7 for a new DVD is reasonable and the lower the price the more you sell. If these companies are so interested in profit then why not start there own download site where and music could be download at a reasonable price. but to stop people having the choice and restrictions on what they can do on the internet takes away freedom of choices and does infringe deeply on civil liberties. Any way that's what I think. I hope this makes sense as it's three in the morning and once again sleep eludes me.

22 June, 2010

It's all our fault

Well, it had to happen I'm dead and this is hell or is it the other way round anyway who cares we have now got ourselves in a right pickle with this collision government. They plan to up taxes, reduce benefits, cut spending. Yet a couple of minutes ago they were fiddling expenses and now they want the poor to be poorer. Here's what i think will happen. They will make their cuts and everyone will suffer more than they have to. Inflation will rise so will unemployment. Banks will still be giving bonuses.House prices will fall to an all time low. and food price will rise with the cost of living. This will cause the people of Britain to say enough is enough and bring the collision to an end because we did not vote for it and it doesn't work. how can it when you now have lib dems going back on what they pledged in the their election manifesto. We voted for no one because we'd run out of trust and they are proving us so right..Did Cameron just become prime minister because it was the only way his party could get into power and he just likes the idea of being prime minister will he bring us back to those dreaded thatcher years of strikes and more poverty, no housing. We shall see. So once again I ask am I in hell? or is this all a dream

10 March, 2010

Funny thing is

I have often wondered what it takes to become a politician but I have always come up with the same answer and that's not much. The funny thing is that I think you have to have the gift of the gab and to be able to spin things the way you want to. In other words tell fibs, big white lies. Take for instant education. We used to have one of the best education systems in the world and now we are somewhere near the bottom of the world ratings. Who was it that f--c-ed it all up with this modernisation crap. Same applies to our health service. Who the hell gave us the right to steal a child childhood because that's what I think is happening as we lower the age for pre school and give them all these tests and then try to get parents into work at the same time. It seems to me that the government wants it cake and wants to eat it all. Are we as a broken society? if we are isn't it about time we said enough is enough. The funny thing is we'll just keep on electing governments that actually don't do anything.

01 March, 2010

Oh boy

Oh boy what a palaver about the election I thought this was an easy choice because if you look at what has been done and what would have been done by you know who. Then its obvious. We all disagreed with brown giving our money to the banks but if you think about it, it has saved most of our saving and has prevented a total collapse of our banks but it it has brought hardship and that's just the thing. if the conservatives had had their way they would have closed the worst failing banks and nationalized the rest. Which would have meant millions would have lost their saving pensions would have been decreased more than they have been and many more would have become redundant and many many more businesses would have gone under. After thinking about things I have come to this conclusion I would Rather have the devil I know in power but what do I know. I still believe the old system of paying water and all those other rates with your rent would work better today than what we have now.

07 February, 2010

Good news and as usual bad news

Good news is I didn't lose my pride and joy, my dvd recorder because by some miracle and luck I managed to keep it and buy a hole fortnights food. The reason well I found one pound fifty and I brought a loaf and bread and a pint of milk. I had sixty pence left so I thought lets have a bet on a horse so I did and that won at 10\1 which gave me £6.60 and placed the oringinal 60p on a straight forcast which means I had to pick the first and second that came in and I got £53.25. I kept the £56 and played with £3.25 and would you believe it I won again this time it was £37 exaclty. I then walked out and brought two weeks food which I didn't really need and got my dvd recorder out of hock. so luck was with me after all or someone up there likes me.
Now for the bad news I read all the papers and things on homelessness and sometimes I just can't believe some councils and what they are saying and doing. Homelessness isn't a crime but I know of people being given asbo's for sleeping in shop doorways this does confuse me as we know there are not enough places for all the homeless in london. Even church night shelters have had to turn away people at night. The thing that amazes me is that we say homelessness is decreasing but in actual fact it is not and from what I see its going into hiding. We no longer see people in plain sight. Homelessness is now becoming hidden and this must not happen as these are the people we have to try and help as best we can.

03 February, 2010

Life it's fun but what a struggle

What can I say? Everyday I wake and pray for just an average day of near normality but as we all know sometimes life just throws a spanner in the works. First it was my health and a dizzy doctor, who I now think was using some kind of hallucinogenic drug because no doc could have been that bad. Now my health has finally got back to some kind of normality but as I said there's always something else. It is partly my own fault but now I'm struggling with my bills which I have got partly sorted but it has cost me. I thought I could pawn my pride and joy. My DVD recorder. It was a way to pay what I owed and get it back with in the allotted time which was a month but things have now conspired against me and I am about to lose my prize possession which I have not finished paying for but I do have a week to think of something. The good things are my gas and electric is still on thanks to my DVD. I have food in my freezer and I'm lucky I don't have to sleep out in the rain anymore. It's a pity life can't be a little easier after all I have done the hard part by surviving all those misspent years of homelessness and drugs. Praying for just a little reward, do you think that's asking too much?
I think life is full of unequal events but sometimes good things do happen more often than not.

25 January, 2010

This what I think

Over the last twenty to thirty years I have been what I call asleep due to the amount of drugs I took over the years and now I am awake and yet even I see the changes made in our so called fair society. My first observation is about our children and they way we slowly erode their childhood by changing learning ages. the test they have to take. I begin to wonder is it worth it? I see a child learning to play with other children as the first steps of learning how to get on together. There are rungs on a ladder. Sometimes some children can take two rungs at a time but for most its one at a time. What I am saying is give back children their childhood and just maybe children wont be so cruel and resentful. It's to late for todays children but they say a happy child is a fruitful child I think.
We say the rich get richer. Now even I have to admit this one. They do, but don't most earn it and is this true are they paying higher taxes than most? We have this saying hard earned money will be well spent. I think this to be true. Look life isn't that fair to most, it has its ups and downs but money isn't everything and being jealous of someone owning a porche hey! that's just natural but being happy with what you have is harder than most people think. Ask someone who fought in the war or who was born just after or just ask someone from a really poor country. Poor is a word I'd use for people who have next to nothing but poverty is a word for poeple who have nothing. Poverty will be with our world for many years to come and many peoples life times but as we give to help when we can. We can smile a little and know that all is not lost and humanity does live somewhere in us all.

08 January, 2010

Recovering blogger

Well. my bit for charity wasn't done exactly as I planned because I caught a tartar of a cold and couldn't do all my shifts. I haven't been out of my flat since, today was the first day. It was strange no one was walking or chating in the streets all were skating or trying to stay up right. Pensioners with zimmer frames were even speed skating. Cars were doing the bolero. So this I am guessing is the long term effects of blogging or snow and I thought I was having a bloggers flash back. Since I stopped writing so much I wondered why I've kept on seeing things. Silly me, today I thought I saw Boris Johnson on TV saying once again that London was prepared for snow and there wouldn't be any disruptions and I could have sworn I saw snow this morning when I went to the shop and no buses but seriously. What I didn't hear was the struggle about families who could not heat there homes during this prolonged freeze because they hadn't yet received any cold weather payments or that people on prepayment meters are using money put by for food because they have been promised payments which still are not forth coming. We are into the second week of the freeze and it seems this too has become a post code lottery. Isn't it suppose to be when the weather drops to zero or below that payments are made unless you live half a mile away in another post code. Cold weather payments are meant to be for weather that is cold not when the sun shines and at todays prices for gas and electric. Well they say it all. Another thing is there are people sleeping rough all around Britain there hasn't been a word said about them. Its so sad that we live in a country that's good at helping people all around the world and I am proud of that. Yet we haven't seen or invented ways to help our own. Britain has so many problems from homelessness to lawlessness but what is most annoying and does make me angry is that we have increasing poverty in this country and although we know and hear about it nothing is really done and I hate it when I am told, you should think yourself lucky because you'd be starving anywhere else in the world. I know how lucky I am but how long will it before we once again see children begging openly in the streets or how long will it be when we see American style soup kitchens? It doesn't take much to become homeless and poor but it takes plenty of lives and life to remedy it

Hey I'm a recover blogger what do I know?

20 December, 2009


I was thinking about Christmas and the phrase home for Christmas. I know that some people do have homes and family to go to at this time of year but what about those who have nothing and no one. I have heard some people as I walk the streets at night say its their own fault that they are where they are and I now ask the question how the hell do they know. Do they personally know the people? I don't think so but you never know because every now and then someone knows someone on the streets and if you remember it is a small world we live in and to be honest England is not that big really. I myself have had what I would have called various homes. One was a card board box in what was called the bull ring in waterloo. Another was just a blanket in a shop doorway in London’s West End. the list goes on. You might think how can this be called home but that is what it was, plus the only family I knew at the time was other people on the streets in the same situation. Now I smile a little more as I look around my flat and I see a three seater settee and two arm chairs, a TV and so forth but this is now my home but every now and then I visit the streets at night and remember this is what it was like but I remember that not everyday was gloom and doom. 

18 December, 2009

A true story

Many years ago I fell into a hole and broke my leg and smashed my knee but today I see the funny side of life and so I wrote this I wrote something similar a few years ago but lost it so I thought it's coming up to Christmas and it's a time for fun 

The hole

It was black

It was big and round

It was sort of deep

Yet there it was upon the ground

Something you could not miss

But me being me

After a few and remember not a drop of tea

In I fell

I did not dive or somersault

Just screamed what the hell

Then I was gone

Into this hole

That was big and round and sort of deep

That all could see

Something you could not miss

Except me


New day new dawn

Well it's only a few more days until Christmas and I still wonder sometimes what would I be doing if I hadn't changed my life so dramatically so many Christmases ago. When I go out on the streets at night I sometimes stop at places I used to frequent and think about things and sometimes remember what happened here but I've learned that you can't change the past, it's just gone. You can only have regrets and these you don't have to dwell on because everyday life changes. I wake to a new day free of drugs and thoughts I never knew I had. Have to admit some are really personal.  One thought I had was that many well known MP s are signed up to the end homeless by 2012 campaign. How about actual homeless people signing up as well after all two heads are better than one and aren't homeless people the ones that matter. The way I see it if you get everyone doing there thing to end homelessness then this gives it more power and instead of the words unlock your potential. Lets always use the words lets us help you reach your goal because that's what it's all about two bodies working for the samething but it says a lot more if your saying we want to help. Not that's we don't know it but as they say words are more powerful than sword after all so many have started wars.

27 November, 2009

Me being profound

I was thinking once again which is not unusual these days. It seems to me that everyone in the world asks for that one big miracle at least once in a lifetime it might be to win the lottery or get a new car or just something simple like losing your childhood spots but what we don't realize that life is full of little miracles which we don't really notice. Its funny but it was just a thought I had.

26 November, 2009

a poem of christmas

Every Christmas everyone one sighs

That unexpected Christmas happiness sigh

Some get over cheerful

Some get very very playful

Some just sit, smile and cry

There are many reasons why

It could be long lost loves remembered

Tinged with happiness and the smallest of regret

Yet that first Christmas kiss you just remembered

And that gentle smile of yesterday

Comes once again to play

Then you look around

And so that Christmas sigh and smile

It reappears

As Christmas brings it seasons cheers


25 November, 2009

What can I say

When I write I try to write about what I know sometimes adding a bit of humor but even I know life is sometimes severe and cutting. So what I want to do is use some of your imagination. Just closed your eyes and imagine your homeless and haven't got a penny in your pocket, its raining and you are soaked. Now add to that you don't have a drink that you have to have everyday because you are a alcoholic. How do you feel?  

Nothing can change that feeling of hopelessness. 

This is what happens 365 days a year to most homeless people and it's OK for charities like crisis to say help the homeless help themselves but it always comes down to the fact that without a stable base the chances of someone getting their life in order is minimal. I know I did but I am one of the few. how many times did I really try? Not that many I did try a few times but as they say I was not ready for change.  Don't get me wrong crisis is one of my favorite charities but I sometimes wonder if they are losing site of the bigger picture and that is homelessness its self. Even I have heard the mumbling and whispers about people living in hostels and its clear people still think of them as not being homeless. I would love to hear from MP s with their own thoughts on this subject. Not their party line but their own thoughts but I think thats doubtful.

Christmas is a few weeks away and we will hear about homeless more at this time of year. My own story has been heard many times but I am glad to say my life changed for the good and is still changing daily. Best of all is I am still alive and kicking. 

24 November, 2009

Sitting and wondering about Christmas

I was just sitting watching TV  with a friend who never stops crying at Christmas films my flat is sure to cause flooding on a major scale but to get to the point, there I was sitting and I just got this thought what is Christmas and what does it truly mean. We have the church saying it's the day Christ was born. We have another saying its just one day each year of peace and love. So I began to think about what Christmas means to the homeless. When I was on the streets I used to beg for whatever I needed because I couldn't shoplift anymore drugs had got the better of me and I was in an awful state, not that it stopped me but I just kept getting caught. Just before every Christmas when begging I used to look forward to the people who had the Christmas spirit and gave five pounds plus which made them smile and me. I never went to the shelters for Xmas because they were too crowded and I wasn't ready to admit I was lost and I'd lost my personal battle with drugs. So to me back then Christmas was a time for having that little extra and a smile. There was nothing else to look forward to. After Christmas things would be just the same. It wasn't until I got straight that I realized that Christmas is the one day of the year that a strange kind of perfect love for everyone and everything somehow manifest its self. why? Who knows? Maybe it is the day Christ was born or maybe it's the only day we as human being see we can be so much more than we are? Maybe its just the one day of the year we get to be just what you see?

13 November, 2009

Me and my little voice

My voice has been quiet of late because there has been nothing to say except the same old boring thing called homelessness. I sometimes think whats the use, the government seem to convince people that its a thing of the past and the people in the street are so used to seeing people sleeping on the streets its become part of everyday life. Are we becoming immune to the fact that there is still a big problem? I've had my ups and downs over the last few years but I am still here living and breathing but a few of the people I knew on the streets are not. So when I hear some MP saying we are getting to grips with the problems of homelessness and its problems I get angry but I am only one little voice. Its loud but sometimes I feel its not loud enough. homelessness is a big problem and with it brings all the problems that you can't imagine, drugs, alcoholism. violence and abuse and sometimes prostitution. So if my voice is quiet now, wait till you hear me properly. 

07 November, 2009


How many chances does one need was the question ? that was the question asked, my automatic reply was as many as it takes but now I'm at home and I'm thinking about the people that will not take the chances given because they figure they are on their way out anyway or to put it another way they have given up and just want to be left alone. If we are truthful we have slightly given up on them too because its too hard and too tiring to do the same thing day after day although we keep on trying. The repeated failure gets to us too and we just go through the motions What can we do to change this? I don't think there is much we can do but too keep on trying but what I would love to see is what I call the last stop. It's a last stop place for hard and heavy drinkers to be. It takes them off the streets and keeps them safe and warm and to have someone on the premises 24hrs a day. Someone who does not judge and is there to help in anyway. I think they do have something like this in Scotland it's where drinkers spend there last days. Why am I writing this well I am so sad and fed up with going to funerals of people I know and some are paupers funerals. They spent their lives with nothing and no one and they die with nothing and no one . It doesn't seem fair 

20 October, 2009

Once again thinking clear

I'm not the kind of man to give up on things that easy after all the things I've been through in my life I know it makes me who I am. I have not been myself for quite a few months ( I wondered sometimes who I was) It's taken me longer than I thought it would to be just me again but as the saying goes you can't keep a good man down for long and I am back in reasonable health so for the first clear thought of the day. After listening to the party conferences it seems to me that none have said what they are going to do for those that are living in poverty or for that matter the homeless which is still thriving week in and week out. The number steadily is increasing. from what I can gather is they now want to build more hostel like places for teenagers who are expecting or with children because they want to teach parenting but my question is who ever gets parenting right because as i understand it we are all different. We can't house the homeless we already have so how are we going to house these teenagers. Now don't get me started about Boris Johnson because he promised to keep fares down and to make changes and he hasn't done a thing. he's had all these meeting and spent lots of money on researching various things like policing, housing and transport and hasn't really done a thing worth while. Now for my favorite why do we stand for governments that continually let us down? It's mind boggling. I do understand why this government had to save the banks but am I right in thinking the banks should have been part nationalized as its the tax payer that seems to be losing out and would the government have gotten a better return for the peoples money? 

02 October, 2009

just thinking

Thinking of things to say isn’t that hard for me as I have been used to talking my way through things for years especially hiding the fact that I couldn’t read or write but now I can. The thing is none of this would have been possible if people didn’t care. Over the last few months I haven’t been myself but I am now back to my old self but the problem is even though I am back the homeless problem is still here. Poverty is on the increase and the most venerable in our society are still slowly suffering. I was listening to the party conference for labour and liberals. To tell the truth times are going to get tougher but under the conservatives I think they will get much much tougher. I know that cuts have to come but what they are going to do just doesn’t add up. It means higher taxes. Vat, people paying much more national insurance contributions. What I want to know is are there any plans for the thousands stuck in hostels or are there any plans for those on the streets that can't get into hostels or are they going to cut spending even further in that area to.

06 September, 2009

Revenge of a doughnut

It's Monday and I am a fresh baked doughnut. I used to have five friends in a bag. We were the doughnut gang but they have now all been eaten by this monster of a man and it looks as if I am going the same way but I wasn't expecting it to be so quick. Now between you and me. My friends and I will have the last laugh because we have made him slightly obese already and we have become a daily habit because we add jam, sugar, apple, custard, raisins we also come in rings and are sometimes big and fat. we also come nice and crispy plus the fact that if we cooked really good one is not enough.
As you can probably gather I have stopped eating doughnuts and its made me nuts

03 September, 2009

Days go by when you actually get to hear good news but most of the time is spent watching and listening to TV and radio and all the bad news from around the world. It does seem that we are very lucky in Britain although there is a certain element in our society intent on violence. If you think of things in other ways. we do have it better than most. Take the in the states for instance if you have no health insurance you are unlikely to get the medical help you need. You can get lost amongst the million or so homeless also If you're living in parts of the third world you are more likely to die of starvation and disease. So when I go out some nights to see how the homeless in this country are getting on I sometimes stand in the background and watch the people that are handing out and taking the sandwiches. I often wonder if they know how lucky they really are.

29 August, 2009

Just living

Am I living or am I just going through the motions to what seems some semblance of a life. Living in my own home it's different and I've been doing it for some while now but there's still something missing. Maybe it the daily struggle which you get used to when your living on the streets or maybe it's being with people who are just like you who have nothing and don't pretend to have. Maybe its hearing those different voices day in day out but whatever it is, living on your own in your own flat it is very different. Take me for instance for many years I lived on and off the streets sometimes in prison, Sometimes in swats and sometimes in hostels who by the way always seemed to come up with Mr McCoy you haven't paid any rent so you will have to leave. Being a drug addict causes these lapses in ones memory and getting high everyday does that. The fact is drug came first before rent, food, cloths or family but those days are gone. Now it's just me and my inner voice trying to be the best that I can be and believe me when I say that's not hard as everyday used to be what can I get today but these days I'm into the quiet life but every now and then I will spend a few days out there on the streets or get blind o drunk at home and that's not hard for me as I hate drink but I am still asking the question is this living or just going through the motions.
Maybe I'll wake up and find out it's all been a dream and I'm really only 20 and it's all been a nightmare or maybe this is hell and I really died years ago and this is my punishment because Gordon Brown really being the prime minister only the devil could have come up with that one.

27 August, 2009

I called this recycling

My father who taught me the tricks of the trade and when I got older
Two kids and a wife who constantly moaned was how I was paid
So I recycled the wife for someone to keep
But alas no came
So I killed her and buried her deep
Now I’m not one to bear grudges
Well, not for awhile
You got to admit I do things in style
Now my kids are now all grown and all have left home
But now I’m haunted by all the things that I've done
And the ghost of my wife who nags me and annoys me for fun
So it would have been best If I’d not laid her to rest
Now the thing is
I strongly believe divorce would have been best
So if you’re thinking about getting rid of you’re wife
Don’t do what I did it could ruin your life.
Now this is a tale of a love that did fail
But just in case you are tempted like me
There are much better ways to set yourself free.
Recycle its less hassle and much better fun.

I wrote this at Christmas but since then it's changed quite a bit but putting fun into something tragic was at one time hard for me as most of my life has been either on the streets a drug user or struggling to survive the pit falls of life living rough.

26 August, 2009

Do I believe?

Do I believe everything the government says or what Gordon Brown or David Cameron hinted at. So far this year all I have heard is the blame game but if you look at things and weigh them up in your mind sensible people will come to sensible conclusions.
The next general election is just round the corner. Right at this minute it looks like a conservative win but wait lets look back and see what happened last time a conservative government lead us. Strikes, oh they banned them, poverty? it rose, houses where built? Not exactly the ones we already had were sold off and of course we went to war in the Falklands. Lets not forget history was made we had the first woman president, sorry prime minister. So what does this tell me? Well lets see this government bailed out the banks to the tune of billions but was it their doing in the first place that lead to the banks failing? Oh yes they sold our gold reserves at a loss. Oh and over the next ten to twenty years we will be paying more tax and enough much needed housing won't be built. Unemployment will rise even further. Poverty will still be around. Tomorrow I will hear MPs saying vote for me things will change but on a good note homeless people can vote

25 August, 2009

Not saying much

These days are rather quiet and peaceful for me but I have just spent a few days sleeping rough like I did in the old days but this time it had a purpose. I wanted to see how hard it has become to survive here in London now street services have been dramatically reduce. These days its hard enough to stay in the flats or houses we already have and with the government slow to build social housing I wanted to find out have new rules on benefits made it harder for homeless people to survive on the streets. There does seem to be a growth in homelessness but every summer London sees an influx of people from other parts of the country. What I did notice was lots of new young faces and some old faces back on the streets after being taken off the streets. I have to admit sleeping rough was a bit hard for me as I have become used to my bed and being able to watch tv when I wanted and of course having my coffee and doughnuts.
The thing that did stand out was that homeless people are really struggling to survive and as the government tighten its grip on the welfare state. I have begun to wonder if we are taking giant steps backward and have another underworld of vice showing its ugly head. The fact is as the government try to reduce its spending and tighten its belt people are going to suffer and it does seem to me that it's the people that really need the help that are going to suffer most.

19 July, 2009

Awake and raring to go

Well, it's been a long time coming but I think normality has returned. It's 6 15 in the morning I'm awake and ready to go for my morning run and within the next few weeks or so get rid of my fat stomach that has built up over the last few years. I have already got rid of the junk for food that was in my freezer and got fresh veg and meats, not keen on the fruit though. It's the exercise that's the problem because being one of the laziest guys in Britain and I do have some bad habits and exercise is the last thing I want to do but I know I have to. Just by luck I found these steep steps and just like in the rocky film I have been running up and down them for couple of days now, sad to say don't see any improvement but time will tell. well got to go as daylight is wasting

16 July, 2009

Homeless once again

Oh well things just don't go to plan do they? You're thinking he's homeless again what happened? Nothing actually. I'm not but by the time I've finished this particular blog I could have been. That's how easy it could be for someone to become homeless by making one lousy decision in a few minutes and it could change the out come of someones life. I went out for a long walk today and I looked into the faces I came across and thought what would it be like for them if they suddenly became one of many homeless what would they do? That question doesn't really need answering because their survival instint would kick in just as mine did and the same as most living on the streets. The thing is the longer you stay on the streets the easier it is to survive but the social skills you once had eventually disappear so you do become dependent on your wits. So the person you once were disappears. Does this make you less than anybody else? It shouldn't but in some peoples eyes it does because they only see whats in front of them they do not know what has gone before.

03 July, 2009

You see some of my poetry at http://poetmccoy.blogspot.com/ Its half past three in the morning and it too hot to sleep so I thought I would catch up with my blog even though I have nothing much to say.which most who know me will say is a miracle but I haven't watched the news for ages and have kept pretty quite. Tonight I am trying to write some more poetry and my book but nothing comes to mind so I will continue with the struggle

02 July, 2009

I wonder

Everything changes but does it really? Over the last few months I have not been quite myself and I have had to slow down a bit which has given me time to ponder on life's little quirks. The conclusions I have come to are really not that amazing, just so obvious. I still wonder what would have happened to me if I had still been homeless and using drugs. What would I be doing now? Would I have died and be buried in a paupers grave? Are there better days to come? These questions would never have entered my head a couple of years ago. I still think not much has changed though. I still do some of the same things I did when I was homeless because old habits die hard and habits as most know are hard to break that's why I think I understand more than most the plight of homeless people after they have a home. getting A flat or some kind of accommodation is only part of the battle. The battle to break the habit of homelessness it's self is the toughest. It doesn't matter how good you are at keeping a flat clean and tidy or that you have food. It's this thing that the streets brings you I suppose you could call it the survival instinct you don't want to lose it so you keep going back to the streets because that's what you know so well. Just a few of my own thoughts and I wonder am I right?

01 June, 2009

The Honorable

Am I right when I think that when MPs are in the houses of parliament that the speaker calls them the right honorable whoever it is from such a place. The question I wanted to ask after the expenses row was. was it the honorable thing for for so many MPs to do. I as a member of the public just didn't want to hear we did nothing wrong because it was in the rules. What I wanted to hear was that it wasn't the honorable thing to do and apologise. We trust our MPs to be beyond reproach and it doesn't matter what their back ground or where they come from but when it comes to decisions we trust them to do whats right for this country not just themselves. That's where I think the trouble lies We have lost this sense of morality. The Labour party talk about respect as well as the other parties but should they sit down at a party conference and sort out their own houses first before they try to teach the public about their respect agendas because from where I'm sitting the trust in MPs we once had has been tarnished really badly and its going to take something special to get it back fully. It's a bit like the kid who never did anything wrong saying it wasn't me I didn't steal the cakes but is later found out and the trust that everyone had has gone and it has to be earned. I just wanted to say my bit

10 May, 2009

Back to the issue of homelessness

Well, it's been a while since I wrote anything useful so I'll keep this short and simple. Many of you folk think homelessness is now less of an issue because you only see a few people sleeping rough or walking the streets late at night. The funny thing is there are still quite a number of homeless people and we don't see them because they now hide away at night, so they wont be woken up by police or anyone who will ask them to move on. The other thing is that homelessness is now a wider issue. It doesn't cover people just sleeping rough anymore. Now its about people who are stuck in hostels and hotels, sleeping on Friends floors and sofa's with no hope of having a place of their own.
Council housing was set up to house the people in greatest need. So where did it all go wrong and why ?
Why do we have families in this day and age without homes?
Why do the single homeless people still have to fight for the right to have a home?
Why is it nearly impossible to get an emergency bed for someone living on the streets?
Did we really become too dependent on the right to buy factor?
Is this why we stopped building social housing?
Have the government got it wrong once again?
Is there any real solutions to the housing problems we are facing?
These are the questions I am asking now I'm back to something like my old self.
I know I wont write as much but I will write about what's relevant

26 March, 2009

Still on about homelessness years later

Since I became a member of the nearly normal society brigade. I have had several interviews and things concerning homelessness and every year it I am still writing the same old thing and still talking about ways to tackle homelessness. Strange as it might sound but it’s true. The question of homelessness is an unrelenting issue.
I now am asking has being homeless become a minor crime because it does seem to be as council after council try to stop people sleeping on the streets. I have to admit to the ingenious tactics they have used ( why can’t they use the same logic on the state of council estates} but until we all really admit that there is still a big problem, (which by the way is growing once again }It's estimated that approximately over a 800 people sleep rough on any given night right across Britain and that over 400 hundred thousand sleep in temporary accommodation such as friends sofa's, hostels and night shelters and so forth. Now the summer is nearly here there aren't that many night shelters open and to be truthful some you wouldn’t put your dog in over night. It seems to me that over the last three or four years I have met MPs from various parties and they have all sat there and listened and asked questions but to be truthful nothing much seems to have been done. We have had the odd scheme that has run out of funding and we have had several schemes which have been too costly. It all comes down to money said one MP recently. At this present time and the climate we are now in we don't have that much money to spend and what we do spend on homelessness has been tried and tested. We can see a results for what we spend. I have been thinking about this statement for quite a while now and I have come to this conclusion, The results that this or any government see seems to me to be about the same. one year the figures may be slightly down or static and the next slightly improved and of course we hear about this because any government worth its salt would say things are improving. Even I have to admit that compared with the homeless number ten to twelve years ago there has been a dramatic drop but things speak for themselves and the steady rise we are seeing all over the country needs to be addressed especially when you find people sleeping rough out of site of the public. These are the people that need to be included in any government statistic. I also heard that the rise in homelessness is due to the population rise of E.U immigrants looking for work. I know we say we are looking for new ways to end homelessness by twenty twelve but I really do think this is one target that cannot be reached. Homelessness has been with us through the ages as history shows us. Yes it is time to end it for good but with poverty increasing how do we do this? Do we hide it while the Olympics are here or do we say yes we have a problem just like any other country and we are tackling it and we will and can.
I know in the past we have tried work houses as history tells us. Today they are called hostels but its not the brutal regime of the past. It has now become the place where you are ina static posution. Limbo if you like.. Where you have hope that things can move on from here. There is one thing that applies to the past and today situations and that is once you’re in the homeless system its hard to escape. Coming from me that might seem funny as I now have my own flat and live quite a reasonable life. Which is what I would like to see all over the country but what I have now took me nearly a life time to get because no one really knew how to tackle the problems I had and there are so many out there that don't have as long as I have had.
Learning more about homelessness and it's true affects on people.
The root causes of homeless and how to break the cycle and habits of homelessness I think just the tip of the iceberg. The problem is that once you’re in the cycle of homelessness and have been there for quite sometime integrating a person back into society is harder than it sounds. Its about giving a person back there self worth and belief. Yes they have to be taught the skills needed to get back to work and so forth but the real problem is that addicts who have been so comforted by the bottle and drugs has been a crutch and taking away that crutch leaves them nothing. Homelessness has that same addictive quality this is why i believe we have a constant flow of people becoming homeless over and over again. This is where I still believe that former homeless people and addicts are the key to getting things right. But at this moment the main obstacle to this all is the Governments Quick fix target of twenty twelve. Everyone knows that putting a plaster on a wound before cleaning it leads to trouble. Is this government just putting a plaster on so you when the Olympics finally do arrive no one watching it on TV will see the homeless person sitting in a sleeping bag While the marathon is being run?

09 March, 2009

Not saying much these days

I don't write that much these days but there are times I do have moments of bright clarity and think to myself why the hell am I still writing about homelessness in 2009. Well to put it simply we still have a homelessness problem all over this country and as the government introduce all kinds of initiatives to combat the problem I believe we are falling short. Now I listen to the news and I always keep an open mind when I hear things on homelessness. The thing is I have been there on those streets and I can tell you once you get there its hard to get away from them. They say that abuse and family break up are causes of homelessness and it is true but I also believe the shame of poverty is one of the greatest causes of people sleeping rough today because they made a mistake in thinking there was a better life in another new town and things would be so different, its that new place fresh start thing. So off they go with a suitcase full of dreams and a few quid in there pocket and for some they have just what the stand in. Before they know whats happened to their new life it's the old one but in a much much worse way because now they have a huge drink and drug problem and are surrounded by friends in the same situation and most of them came looking for something better. They all were also so full of hope that that hope now lays dormant sometimes never coming back. The question is what is the solution to the problem? Well I think it starts where many people came from and to create some kind of help at the starting point. Preventing it is herder that it seems. Everything has to start somewhere. We all know what the end result if we don't think and act quickly enough. Its fine giving people all these skills but if the underlying cause to thier problems aren't solved its juat a waste. How's that for clarity?

06 February, 2009

What next

I've been talking to a few people where I live and I asked about the cold weather and how they were coping and I was told in no uncertain terms that these were the hardest times for many years. What with the price of gas and electric and so many people now not working and the fact that four people told me they were on benefits and had only one payment off the cold weather payment payed by the dss and job seekers. Now I know that this should be payed if the cold drops to zero or the average temp over seven days is zero or below. So I tried to ask the dss directly if this was true as the average temp during the end of dec to end of jan was zero with only two days in that time reaching plus three but I had no luck as they said they could not comment. So my next plan of action was to ask an MP but as you know it snowed and i am left with a sore bum and red face as i slipped and nearly broke my leg. I will get round to it as soon as I can. Other things on my mind are, Are the government and MPs from other parties so out of touch with the people that they now are thinking up quick fix policies? I for one think they are and I can't help but think what will they think of next. Will it be send all drug addict to the moon or there will be a national charge to use your local parks? Who knows? What I do know is that this is not a reccession it's the beginning of a depression if you look back in history both here and America there are so many things that are the same. anyway that's what I think but who cares what I think anyway.

30 January, 2009

Its time

Well I might not be myself these days but I still listen to the news and make my own mind up about things for instance this thing about the banks and the doom and gloom that has followed them about. well here's my take on this issue, banks have been so stupid yet in the process have made a few more people rich and what we used to call the middle class are now much better off and the poor are now poorer. This only partly due to the banks. They sold loans and things to unsafe people and project but this was partly due to the government as well making people believe that owning their own home was the bees knees and the thing to do and the government kept on and on about this being the way forward so banks followed suit the result is what we have now. We have partly nationalised the banks why not go the full hog and get things moving by making them lend to business

30 December, 2008

You don't have any ties so please take up your bed and leave

I thought I'd write one last piece for this year about oxford council asking it's the homeless to leave if they couldn't prove that they had any ties to oxford. This is getting ridiculous as homeless people are fast becoming the easy targets of councils all over the country and I do believe what they are now doing is bordering on being illegal. The question is are they taking away ones right to live where they can and choose. Does any council have legal jurisdiction over any ones rights? Its a bit like saying sorry there's no room at the inn but its happening all over England. Another thing is that if the government figures are to be believed a third of the rough sleepers in England are in Oxford.These must be all the above intelligent ones who are now getting university degrees. I wonder if the others are at Cambridge doing the same? As today I heard Cambridge was better than Oxford

What's in store

Well another year nearly over and to be truthful it hasn't been a very fruitful one for me as things have happened that have had me rather concerned about my health but everything is okay and 2009 should be a good year in fact I think it will a vintage one this time round. I aim to get the answers to the nagging questions that need to be answered like have we really lost the art of conversation and what do people think the reason for this. Another is about homelessness and are certain charities including my favorite and beloved Crisis moving a way from the real core of what they were all set up to help tackle and that is the homeless, are they in their drive to improve leaving behind the most vulnerable and have we in fact gone to a two tier of homelessness of those who can and those who can't. I hope to be doing some more radio stuff next year as I very much want to ask the question of whats going to happen if the economy doesn't recover. What's in store the homeless and is reforming the welfare and benefit system the correct thing to do at this time or is it just another way for the government to give with one hand and take with the other. Will we see a dramatic rise in homelessness as house repossessions continue to rise as the sticking plaster which the government has in place fails to do its job. All good questions to ask. So as this year ends on a bit bum note. Lets hope for a better one. See you all in the New Year. Have a great new years eve. Here's a question would I make a good MP as I have a back ground of avoiding burning questions and I can make promises that I know I wont keep

28 December, 2008


Homelessness is not just a thing that happens at Christmas although sometimes it does feel as if it is. The fact is that at Christmas we see a small proportion of what homelessness is and we learn more about how it affects some of those that are homeless. Its such a shame that it is the only time of year when everyone talks about the subject and we feel everyone should be given at least a small glimmer of hope. The fact that there are some people that actually do care and offer their time shows that some people do empathise but what does happens after places like the Crisis Christmas shelter in London or all the other places that are open, close. Most go back to life of living on the streets because there is no choice although there are housing advice places in the shelters the chance of getting someone in one is slim but its not through the lack of trying. There are still not enough vacancies to tackle the problem which is set to rise even further.
How do you tackle homelessness? No one yet has come up with a definite solution. The sorry fact that it has become more hidden is I think is a growing problem because we now have people sleeping at the back of shops and such places. Where as before it used to be in plain site suggests that I am right but I do speak from experience myself as I have been homeless and a drug addict. The fact that Crisis has taken a bold intuitive in trying to develop peoples skills in their skylight drop in centers in London at Newcastle is a step in the right direct but more needs to be done on the issue of homelessness itself because no matter what, no employer will take the chance of employing someone who lives on the street. Yes its that old vicious circle again once you're in it its hard to get back on the straight and narrow. With this recession starting to bite and as more and more people become victim to the housing market slump and many losing their jobs and homes. I once again see the migration of workers going to different towns in search of work. Which has happened before in this country and was in itself a cause of one of the biggest rises in homelessness in the seventies and eighties. I forecast that we will see the break down of families and a large rise in homelessness over the next two years and once again we will have a homeless crisis

05 December, 2008

What a laugh someone's having

The queens opening speech for the new session of Parliament was a bit of a damp squid if you ask me. The government are doing nothing for the poorest of this country and I believe they made no great in roads into the housing crisis that has been building up for sometime now. No mention of rentable social housing or of building any. Someone is having a great belly laugh at our expense but the trouble is the Conservatives wont do much better if anything they'll make it harder. Politics, its a comedy in the making. This year I think we have seen the worst comedy of errors that any government has made since the war. We are in for tough times and I strongly believe that we haven't seen the worst of things to come. Who really knows what's in store for 2009 doom and more gloom but it's Christmas and I think we should make the best of it for now so many poeple will be drowning thier sorrows with a mixture of goodwill and tears. cheers to you all

02 December, 2008

a christmas poem

After the year we've all just had.
This Christmas is the time we all should be kind of glad.
The credit crunch, the bombs, the war
I could go on some more.
Yet when I think of things to come.
And things we've left undone.
Like saying that I love you to ones that are so near and dear.
And to the child in misery say it's OK, I'll protect you and drive away your fear.
So lets make this Christmas a very special one.
Filled with love and cheer and loads and loads of fun
So I send to all the peace that all should be.
a happy Christmas from the man in red
and a very special one from me.

Geting too old

For the first time in ages I didn't want to get out of bed but i did and immediately started shaking, not with the cold but anger as i picked up the mail and found more bills addressed to my friend who died a year ago and for the first time in ages i looked in the mirror and saw an aged man. So as i sat down with a cup of coffee. I started to think my god! where has time gone. the truth is time just went on it's merry way as it normally does and I never noticed. funny how things turn out in life. You never notice time until it's gone and you sart wishing you could get it back when you do.

25 November, 2008

Credit and more crunch

As I See it the chancellor did nothing to get me out shopping for Christmas in fact all he did was make me worry about how I am going to pay my gas and electric bill as I am one of the growing 1. 7,000,000 unemployed. I get 240.00 a month and now a total of 75 goes on gas and electric and they still want more. Now the government wants me to get a job so now I have to fork out either 13 50 a week on bus fares or 5.20 a day on bus and tube travel. Lets go for the 13 50 week that's 54. 00 a month for searching and going to interviews. So that's half my money gone. Oh and don't for get I have to pay four pounds fifty a week water rates and 6.25 TV license. that leaves me with less than twenty pounds a week for food. So what has the chancellor done for me and many like me? So does it matter that he knocked two and a half per cent of vat because like many we already shop second hand. When we can afford to. It just hasn't dawned on anyone that poverty will be wider spread over the next year or so. Will we recover ? Who knows.

17 November, 2008

Second hand

I met this fella on my nightly travels around the city of London. He was one of the people that travelled on the night buses. I'd seen him around some of the day centers so we got speaking about being homeless and when I told him I'd been homeless and was now living in my own flat he wished that he was me. Funny I never thought of anyone wanting to be me. I asked him how he became homeless and he said that he left home 12 years ago with nothing but a suitcase of second hand clothes and a few pound in his pocket. All he wanted to do was make a better life for himself as all his life everything he seemed to get was second hand. From the clothes he wore, to the watch he had on which he got for his birthday some years ago. He said his parents always struggled with money even though his dad worked six days a week. He was the youngest of five and often wishes to go back home but after lying for years to the people that matter to him. He felf he had to make it but has found life really different and difficult since the day he just up and left home. I asked him what does he do with his days now? What's the point of doing anything was the reply. If i go into a hostel it's just like being a part of a system that trys to do its best but just does work properly for me and I don't want to live with acholics and drug addicts because i am not one of those. I just want to be normal. Whatever that is

14 November, 2008

What's not new

It's a fact that unemployment has gone up and more and more homes are being reposed is now old news but did you know that an extra 120 people slept rough in the last couple of nights and in the last three months the homeless figure has risen steadily. These figures were reached just by making a few phone calls to three homeless charities in certain parts of the country.
Homelessness is not a thing of the past. It's still a major issue and is going to be an even bigger issue over the next year. No one really wants to admit to a growing problem. The last time we had a recession homelessness went up by 26% . We see it more now on the fringes of big cities because of policies made by certain councils who want to give there area a look of cleanliness and respectability have made it impossible for homeless people to have what to them could be a safe place to sleep. Is it right that people should have to move from area to area? Christmas is on the horizon again and guess what we are talking about it again. The thing that is most annoying to me personally is that we are still talking about it. I know people will say things are being done but when you have only limited places for people who sleep rough in the winter I think is disgraceful in this day and age recession or not. The fact is no one wants to be homeless by choice is neither here nor there. It just happens. One decision, One bad move can and does change lives. Another thing that irks me is that out of the thousands over the years that have turned their lives around only 0.5% are now working for the homeless and I believe we have the opportunity over the next few years to remedy this. We should and can use the experiences of those that have been in the firing line as it were. I have been talking about homelessness now since I got my life back together and it seems I will be doing that for sometime to come. So I am thinking more positively and trying to work out how to have a more rigorous approach to the problem of homelessness and how to use the wealth of experience we have to good use. I have been toying with the idea of a hostel that is run by exhomeless starting with one then another and so on

13 November, 2008

Whats happening to me

Well it's starting again the weird dreams and stuff. It was probably after watching Enchanted a simple Disney film. That night I got into bed with my hot water bottle for the first time (the hot water bottle not the bed) I fell asleep quite quickly which is mighty unusual for me but boy I dreamt one hell of a dream. It was so vivid and clear and it was strangely haunting and in a way funny the next morning. It went something like this, there was Gordon Brown singing I saved the whole worlds banking I saved the whole worlds banking just in time for Santa and things can only get better and what a wonder full Christmas this will be. Along comes Cameron and starts singing its much too much to bear and I started to think it was all there but now I'm feeling blue and don't know what to do so I think I'll tell a fib or two. All this is happening in the houses of Parliament but it's when everybody on the conservatives bench started standing as if there doing the Mexican wave and each one starts singing Where did it all go wrong we were a government in waiting and we thought we were so strong. Then as suddenly as it all happened there was a small chorus of it will be lonely this Christmas lonely and cold from the Lib Dem's. So I either have the Christmas bug and I'm happy or there is something is terribly wrong with me. Either way who cares I'd love to see MPs singing in the houses of parliament i'd pay to see that

31 October, 2008

From bad to worse

I just don't get it anymore and I thought I was dumb but some of the governments thinking and plans seems to be heading in the direction of not thought out properly and definitely not workable with this credit crunch and recession biting. Who am I to talk anyway I've done some stupid things without thinking too much. there are three issues that are bothering me and i have made inquires of my own to shed light on these issues but I am still left with trepidation
House repossessions I know in the last quarter 11.000 homes have been repossessed and that it is expected to rise by another 10.000 by end of Jan 2009. I know the government have got some program for councils to buy and mortgages companies to rent out the properties to their tenants instead of them becoming homeless. The idea is OK and in it's self that's a good thing but with many councils and mortgages companies losing money to this credit thingy and from people in the know I have spoken seem to think that some councils will struggle over the next few years and the other thing is it defeats the object of people buying their homes.So here's what I would have proposed if I where an MP I would have made it possible for people to stay in their properties but would have frozen their repayments and made them pay rent until the financial crisis got better and then reapply their repayments at another rate to take into account all things well there it is

09 October, 2008

The government should really listen

How do things get so complicated in such a short space of time? I believe the trouble with the banks was always going to come even I was forecasting doom and gloom some months ago and coming from me that was something but guess what nobody was listening as per usual. The only question that was being asked was what does he know? He's an ex drug addict and homeless person. Guess what? I do have a brain and although it was not been fully functional for years to my surprise and maybe yours, it does work! Even I know you can't keep borrowing beyond your means and you certainly can't keep borrowing Peter to pay Paul and you can't put high risk strategies at the forefront of any market. This is what I think banks have been doing for too long. To top this off giving people mortgages and loans three times the size of their incomes doesn't make any sense to me plus we all know the housing bubble had to burst sometime but who am I to talk.
What makes me so angry is the fact that the tax payer who now needs a helping hand with increasing energy bills and food prices can not get it. Yet within forty eight hours of the conservative leader telling us there was nothing in the cupboard and the country was going to face tough times a plan was being form by the government to bail out the financial market. I believe the total package is above 200 billion to date. Funny how we can bail out the financial system with no guarantee it will work. When tax payers are asking for immediate help with rising fuel costs. I listened to the off gen or was it off com report and it stated there was no collusion between the biggest energy companies to hike prices. Well, if they where in front of a jury they would definitely be found guilty because if you go back ten years every time the biggest put the prices up the rest follow suit and to me that's collusion and not fair competition. While I am at it I must vent more on this governments energy argument that approximately only ten percent of a families weekly income is spent on energy IE: gas and electric. I beg to differ. When I speak to various people who are working and they tell me that the increase in energy prices is affecting them and with food prices rising each month their ability to pay is causing them to worry and when I speak to couples with children on state benefits that tell me they are going without food for one or two days every fortnight because of the rises in gas and electric and food. I am a single man on benefits and I am struggling myself and I can tell you that this winter it will be a choice between being warm and hungry or freezing and you must remember those on prepayment energy meters are already losing out because they are paying a daily tariff just for the prepayment meter.
Sorry Mr brown But you don't live in the real world and you certainly are not listening to the people who put your party in office. Yes your measures for the future are good but over the next three to five years people are going to need your help. This is what they pay taxes for not to bail out banks that fed on an over inflated market. Oh and Mr Brown if you want to be prime minister for another four years I suggest you get all your party to listen to the people because they are the ones who want know you are really listening to them. There is a plus to this as well you get the trust of the people and that would be a first.

29 September, 2008


I asked the question some months ago what would happen if we had a financial crisis or crash. Well i think we are heading for just that and there is not much we can do but watch. The days of spend spend spend are truly over. So now my question is what happens to those that lose their homes or can't make payment for gas and electric payments. I believe we will see a steady rise in homelessness and council waiting list. A major growth in border line poverty in this country and real growth in actual poverty. Times are going to be hard for most the less well off will be worse off.
The government have already proved they don't really care and today they took control of the Bradford and Bingley mortgages. I still believe it will give all concerned a headache they wont recover from. Why well the by to let was a risky business at best but what i always remember was when the Conservatives where having their election for leader I remember David Davis saying you could always consider the buy to let market which I laughed at because I was homeless once and had only just got my own flat.
Well as i feel the pinch just like everyone i leave you with this thought who do you trust with your money. Is it safer under the mattress.

31 July, 2008

gas + electric = more poverty

I am now being asked what do i think about the big price rise in gas and electric. My first reaction was to say hey I'm a guy who now has a flat and has only just begun to enjoy it but the fact is it does affect me as well as the people that are working. Here's what i have to say anyway. The 35% rise in gas prices was too excessive and what i can't believe is that British gas is allowed to get away with it. They say profits are down but are they really don't forget that British gas is an off shoot of centrica and that also makes profit. I thought the rise in gas would have been 22% to 25% and that still would have given a healthy profit. Over two point five million people will be below the fuel poverty line next year and i would estimate that a further one point three million by the beginning off the next. It is now up to the government to step in and take control. The word Poverty will become used and more common than it is today and i do believe that if this government don't do anything then it will become their Achilles heel and bring them down the people don't have much trust in them at the moment and if they just sit there then say goodbye to a labour government.

25 July, 2008

Another night finding the homeless not in view

I go out most nights on to the streets of this big city to find out why people are now sleeping rough out of sight. Most people say it's from being woken up and told to move on, which most councils and police deny. Its that it was him not me thing that's going about. Why can't someone just say we are trying to clear the streets of homeless and get them somewhere safe which is of course what we have heard before and its only another little white lie as we know there are not enough spaces in hostels and there are few night shelters. It does seem to me that we are going backwards to the old days when they used to hose down the streets to move people on which by the way was barbaric> how does it end ? who knows ?