Christmas

I was thinking about Christmas and the phrase home for Christmas. I know that some people do have homes and family to go to at this time of year but what about those who have nothing and no one. I have heard some people as I walk the streets at night say its their own fault that they are where they are and I now ask the question how the hell do they know. Do they personally know the people? I don't think so but you never know because every now and then someone knows someone on the streets and if you remember it is a small world we live in and to be honest England is not that big really. I myself have had what I would have called various homes. One was a card board box in what was called the bull ring in waterloo. Another was just a blanket in a shop doorway in London’s West End. the list goes on. You might think how can this be called home but that is what it was, plus the only family I knew at the time was other people on the streets in the same situation. Now I smile a little more as I look around my flat and I see a three seater settee and two arm chairs, a TV and so forth but this is now my home but every now and then I visit the streets at night and remember this is what it was like but I remember that not everyday was gloom and doom. 

A true story

Many years ago I fell into a hole and broke my leg and smashed my knee but today I see the funny side of life and so I wrote this I wrote something similar a few years ago but lost it so I thought it's coming up to Christmas and it's a time for fun 

The hole

It was black

It was big and round

It was sort of deep

Yet there it was upon the ground

Something you could not miss

But me being me

After a few and remember not a drop of tea

In I fell

I did not dive or somersault

Just screamed what the hell

Then I was gone

Into this hole

That was big and round and sort of deep

That all could see

Something you could not miss

Except me

THERE IS A POINT WE DON'T SEE EVERYTHING EVEN IF WE ARE STARING AT IT.

New day new dawn

Well it's only a few more days until Christmas and I still wonder sometimes what would I be doing if I hadn't changed my life so dramatically so many Christmases ago. When I go out on the streets at night I sometimes stop at places I used to frequent and think about things and sometimes remember what happened here but I've learned that you can't change the past, it's just gone. You can only have regrets and these you don't have to dwell on because everyday life changes. I wake to a new day free of drugs and thoughts I never knew I had. Have to admit some are really personal.  One thought I had was that many well known MP s are signed up to the end homeless by 2012 campaign. How about actual homeless people signing up as well after all two heads are better than one and aren't homeless people the ones that matter. The way I see it if you get everyone doing there thing to end homelessness then this gives it more power and instead of the words unlock your potential. Lets always use the words lets us help you reach your goal because that's what it's all about two bodies working for the samething but it says a lot more if your saying we want to help. Not that's we don't know it but as they say words are more powerful than sword after all so many have started wars.

Me being profound

I was thinking once again which is not unusual these days. It seems to me that everyone in the world asks for that one big miracle at least once in a lifetime it might be to win the lottery or get a new car or just something simple like losing your childhood spots but what we don't realize that life is full of little miracles which we don't really notice. Its funny but it was just a thought I had.

a poem of christmas

Every Christmas everyone one sighs

That unexpected Christmas happiness sigh

Some get over cheerful

Some get very very playful

Some just sit, smile and cry

There are many reasons why

It could be long lost loves remembered

Tinged with happiness and the smallest of regret

Yet that first Christmas kiss you just remembered

And that gentle smile of yesterday

Comes once again to play

Then you look around

And so that Christmas sigh and smile

It reappears

As Christmas brings it seasons cheers

 

What can I say

When I write I try to write about what I know sometimes adding a bit of humor but even I know life is sometimes severe and cutting. So what I want to do is use some of your imagination. Just closed your eyes and imagine your homeless and haven't got a penny in your pocket, its raining and you are soaked. Now add to that you don't have a drink that you have to have everyday because you are a alcoholic. How do you feel?  

Nothing can change that feeling of hopelessness. 

This is what happens 365 days a year to most homeless people and it's OK for charities like crisis to say help the homeless help themselves but it always comes down to the fact that without a stable base the chances of someone getting their life in order is minimal. I know I did but I am one of the few. how many times did I really try? Not that many I did try a few times but as they say I was not ready for change.  Don't get me wrong crisis is one of my favorite charities but I sometimes wonder if they are losing site of the bigger picture and that is homelessness its self. Even I have heard the mumbling and whispers about people living in hostels and its clear people still think of them as not being homeless. I would love to hear from MP s with their own thoughts on this subject. Not their party line but their own thoughts but I think thats doubtful.

Christmas is a few weeks away and we will hear about homeless more at this time of year. My own story has been heard many times but I am glad to say my life changed for the good and is still changing daily. Best of all is I am still alive and kicking. 

Sitting and wondering about Christmas

I was just sitting watching TV  with a friend who never stops crying at Christmas films my flat is sure to cause flooding on a major scale but to get to the point, there I was sitting and I just got this thought what is Christmas and what does it truly mean. We have the church saying it's the day Christ was born. We have another saying its just one day each year of peace and love. So I began to think about what Christmas means to the homeless. When I was on the streets I used to beg for whatever I needed because I couldn't shoplift anymore drugs had got the better of me and I was in an awful state, not that it stopped me but I just kept getting caught. Just before every Christmas when begging I used to look forward to the people who had the Christmas spirit and gave five pounds plus which made them smile and me. I never went to the shelters for Xmas because they were too crowded and I wasn't ready to admit I was lost and I'd lost my personal battle with drugs. So to me back then Christmas was a time for having that little extra and a smile. There was nothing else to look forward to. After Christmas things would be just the same. It wasn't until I got straight that I realized that Christmas is the one day of the year that a strange kind of perfect love for everyone and everything somehow manifest its self. why? Who knows? Maybe it is the day Christ was born or maybe it's the only day we as human being see we can be so much more than we are? Maybe its just the one day of the year we get to be just what you see?

Me and my little voice

My voice has been quiet of late because there has been nothing to say except the same old boring thing called homelessness. I sometimes think whats the use, the government seem to convince people that its a thing of the past and the people in the street are so used to seeing people sleeping on the streets its become part of everyday life. Are we becoming immune to the fact that there is still a big problem? I've had my ups and downs over the last few years but I am still here living and breathing but a few of the people I knew on the streets are not. So when I hear some MP saying we are getting to grips with the problems of homelessness and its problems I get angry but I am only one little voice. Its loud but sometimes I feel its not loud enough. homelessness is a big problem and with it brings all the problems that you can't imagine, drugs, alcoholism. violence and abuse and sometimes prostitution. So if my voice is quiet now, wait till you hear me properly. 

Chances

How many chances does one need was the question ? that was the question asked, my automatic reply was as many as it takes but now I'm at home and I'm thinking about the people that will not take the chances given because they figure they are on their way out anyway or to put it another way they have given up and just want to be left alone. If we are truthful we have slightly given up on them too because its too hard and too tiring to do the same thing day after day although we keep on trying. The repeated failure gets to us too and we just go through the motions What can we do to change this? I don't think there is much we can do but too keep on trying but what I would love to see is what I call the last stop. It's a last stop place for hard and heavy drinkers to be. It takes them off the streets and keeps them safe and warm and to have someone on the premises 24hrs a day. Someone who does not judge and is there to help in anyway. I think they do have something like this in Scotland it's where drinkers spend there last days. Why am I writing this well I am so sad and fed up with going to funerals of people I know and some are paupers funerals. They spent their lives with nothing and no one and they die with nothing and no one . It doesn't seem fair 

Once again thinking clear

I'm not the kind of man to give up on things that easy after all the things I've been through in my life I know it makes me who I am. I have not been myself for quite a few months ( I wondered sometimes who I was) It's taken me longer than I thought it would to be just me again but as the saying goes you can't keep a good man down for long and I am back in reasonable health so for the first clear thought of the day. After listening to the party conferences it seems to me that none have said what they are going to do for those that are living in poverty or for that matter the homeless which is still thriving week in and week out. The number steadily is increasing. from what I can gather is they now want to build more hostel like places for teenagers who are expecting or with children because they want to teach parenting but my question is who ever gets parenting right because as i understand it we are all different. We can't house the homeless we already have so how are we going to house these teenagers. Now don't get me started about Boris Johnson because he promised to keep fares down and to make changes and he hasn't done a thing. he's had all these meeting and spent lots of money on researching various things like policing, housing and transport and hasn't really done a thing worth while. Now for my favorite why do we stand for governments that continually let us down? It's mind boggling. I do understand why this government had to save the banks but am I right in thinking the banks should have been part nationalized as its the tax payer that seems to be losing out and would the government have gotten a better return for the peoples money? 

just thinking

Thinking of things to say isn’t that hard for me as I have been used to talking my way through things for years especially hiding the fact that I couldn’t read or write but now I can. The thing is none of this would have been possible if people didn’t care. Over the last few months I haven’t been myself but I am now back to my old self but the problem is even though I am back the homeless problem is still here. Poverty is on the increase and the most venerable in our society are still slowly suffering. I was listening to the party conference for labour and liberals. To tell the truth times are going to get tougher but under the conservatives I think they will get much much tougher. I know that cuts have to come but what they are going to do just doesn’t add up. It means higher taxes. Vat, people paying much more national insurance contributions. What I want to know is are there any plans for the thousands stuck in hostels or are there any plans for those on the streets that can't get into hostels or are they going to cut spending even further in that area to.

Revenge of a doughnut

It's Monday and I am a fresh baked doughnut. I used to have five friends in a bag. We were the doughnut gang but they have now all been eaten by this monster of a man and it looks as if I am going the same way but I wasn't expecting it to be so quick. Now between you and me. My friends and I will have the last laugh because we have made him slightly obese already and we have become a daily habit because we add jam, sugar, apple, custard, raisins we also come in rings and are sometimes big and fat. we also come nice and crispy plus the fact that if we cooked really good one is not enough.
As you can probably gather I have stopped eating doughnuts and its made me nuts

Days go by when you actually get to hear good news but most of the time is spent watching and listening to TV and radio and all the bad news from around the world. It does seem that we are very lucky in Britain although there is a certain element in our society intent on violence. If you think of things in other ways. we do have it better than most. Take the in the states for instance if you have no health insurance you are unlikely to get the medical help you need. You can get lost amongst the million or so homeless also If you're living in parts of the third world you are more likely to die of starvation and disease. So when I go out some nights to see how the homeless in this country are getting on I sometimes stand in the background and watch the people that are handing out and taking the sandwiches. I often wonder if they know how lucky they really are.

Just living

Am I living or am I just going through the motions to what seems some semblance of a life. Living in my own home it's different and I've been doing it for some while now but there's still something missing. Maybe it the daily struggle which you get used to when your living on the streets or maybe it's being with people who are just like you who have nothing and don't pretend to have. Maybe its hearing those different voices day in day out but whatever it is, living on your own in your own flat it is very different. Take me for instance for many years I lived on and off the streets sometimes in prison, Sometimes in swats and sometimes in hostels who by the way always seemed to come up with Mr McCoy you haven't paid any rent so you will have to leave. Being a drug addict causes these lapses in ones memory and getting high everyday does that. The fact is drug came first before rent, food, cloths or family but those days are gone. Now it's just me and my inner voice trying to be the best that I can be and believe me when I say that's not hard as everyday used to be what can I get today but these days I'm into the quiet life but every now and then I will spend a few days out there on the streets or get blind o drunk at home and that's not hard for me as I hate drink but I am still asking the question is this living or just going through the motions.
Maybe I'll wake up and find out it's all been a dream and I'm really only 20 and it's all been a nightmare or maybe this is hell and I really died years ago and this is my punishment because Gordon Brown really being the prime minister only the devil could have come up with that one.

I called this recycling

My father who taught me the tricks of the trade and when I got older
Two kids and a wife who constantly moaned was how I was paid
So I recycled the wife for someone to keep
But alas no came
So I killed her and buried her deep
Now I’m not one to bear grudges
Well, not for awhile
You got to admit I do things in style
Now my kids are now all grown and all have left home
But now I’m haunted by all the things that I've done
And the ghost of my wife who nags me and annoys me for fun
So it would have been best If I’d not laid her to rest
Now the thing is
I strongly believe divorce would have been best
So if you’re thinking about getting rid of you’re wife
Don’t do what I did it could ruin your life.
Now this is a tale of a love that did fail
But just in case you are tempted like me
There are much better ways to set yourself free.
Recycle its less hassle and much better fun.


I wrote this at Christmas but since then it's changed quite a bit but putting fun into something tragic was at one time hard for me as most of my life has been either on the streets a drug user or struggling to survive the pit falls of life living rough.

Do I believe?

Do I believe everything the government says or what Gordon Brown or David Cameron hinted at. So far this year all I have heard is the blame game but if you look at things and weigh them up in your mind sensible people will come to sensible conclusions.
The next general election is just round the corner. Right at this minute it looks like a conservative win but wait lets look back and see what happened last time a conservative government lead us. Strikes, oh they banned them, poverty? it rose, houses where built? Not exactly the ones we already had were sold off and of course we went to war in the Falklands. Lets not forget history was made we had the first woman president, sorry prime minister. So what does this tell me? Well lets see this government bailed out the banks to the tune of billions but was it their doing in the first place that lead to the banks failing? Oh yes they sold our gold reserves at a loss. Oh and over the next ten to twenty years we will be paying more tax and enough much needed housing won't be built. Unemployment will rise even further. Poverty will still be around. Tomorrow I will hear MPs saying vote for me things will change but on a good note homeless people can vote

Not saying much

These days are rather quiet and peaceful for me but I have just spent a few days sleeping rough like I did in the old days but this time it had a purpose. I wanted to see how hard it has become to survive here in London now street services have been dramatically reduce. These days its hard enough to stay in the flats or houses we already have and with the government slow to build social housing I wanted to find out have new rules on benefits made it harder for homeless people to survive on the streets. There does seem to be a growth in homelessness but every summer London sees an influx of people from other parts of the country. What I did notice was lots of new young faces and some old faces back on the streets after being taken off the streets. I have to admit sleeping rough was a bit hard for me as I have become used to my bed and being able to watch tv when I wanted and of course having my coffee and doughnuts.
The thing that did stand out was that homeless people are really struggling to survive and as the government tighten its grip on the welfare state. I have begun to wonder if we are taking giant steps backward and have another underworld of vice showing its ugly head. The fact is as the government try to reduce its spending and tighten its belt people are going to suffer and it does seem to me that it's the people that really need the help that are going to suffer most.

Awake and raring to go

Well, it's been a long time coming but I think normality has returned. It's 6 15 in the morning I'm awake and ready to go for my morning run and within the next few weeks or so get rid of my fat stomach that has built up over the last few years. I have already got rid of the junk for food that was in my freezer and got fresh veg and meats, not keen on the fruit though. It's the exercise that's the problem because being one of the laziest guys in Britain and I do have some bad habits and exercise is the last thing I want to do but I know I have to. Just by luck I found these steep steps and just like in the rocky film I have been running up and down them for couple of days now, sad to say don't see any improvement but time will tell. well got to go as daylight is wasting

Homeless once again

Oh well things just don't go to plan do they? You're thinking he's homeless again what happened? Nothing actually. I'm not but by the time I've finished this particular blog I could have been. That's how easy it could be for someone to become homeless by making one lousy decision in a few minutes and it could change the out come of someones life. I went out for a long walk today and I looked into the faces I came across and thought what would it be like for them if they suddenly became one of many homeless what would they do? That question doesn't really need answering because their survival instint would kick in just as mine did and the same as most living on the streets. The thing is the longer you stay on the streets the easier it is to survive but the social skills you once had eventually disappear so you do become dependent on your wits. So the person you once were disappears. Does this make you less than anybody else? It shouldn't but in some peoples eyes it does because they only see whats in front of them they do not know what has gone before.

You see some of my poetry at http://poetmccoy.blogspot.com/ Its half past three in the morning and it too hot to sleep so I thought I would catch up with my blog even though I have nothing much to say.which most who know me will say is a miracle but I haven't watched the news for ages and have kept pretty quite. Tonight I am trying to write some more poetry and my book but nothing comes to mind so I will continue with the struggle

I wonder

Everything changes but does it really? Over the last few months I have not been quite myself and I have had to slow down a bit which has given me time to ponder on life's little quirks. The conclusions I have come to are really not that amazing, just so obvious. I still wonder what would have happened to me if I had still been homeless and using drugs. What would I be doing now? Would I have died and be buried in a paupers grave? Are there better days to come? These questions would never have entered my head a couple of years ago. I still think not much has changed though. I still do some of the same things I did when I was homeless because old habits die hard and habits as most know are hard to break that's why I think I understand more than most the plight of homeless people after they have a home. getting A flat or some kind of accommodation is only part of the battle. The battle to break the habit of homelessness it's self is the toughest. It doesn't matter how good you are at keeping a flat clean and tidy or that you have food. It's this thing that the streets brings you I suppose you could call it the survival instinct you don't want to lose it so you keep going back to the streets because that's what you know so well. Just a few of my own thoughts and I wonder am I right?

The Honorable

Am I right when I think that when MPs are in the houses of parliament that the speaker calls them the right honorable whoever it is from such a place. The question I wanted to ask after the expenses row was. was it the honorable thing for for so many MPs to do. I as a member of the public just didn't want to hear we did nothing wrong because it was in the rules. What I wanted to hear was that it wasn't the honorable thing to do and apologise. We trust our MPs to be beyond reproach and it doesn't matter what their back ground or where they come from but when it comes to decisions we trust them to do whats right for this country not just themselves. That's where I think the trouble lies We have lost this sense of morality. The Labour party talk about respect as well as the other parties but should they sit down at a party conference and sort out their own houses first before they try to teach the public about their respect agendas because from where I'm sitting the trust in MPs we once had has been tarnished really badly and its going to take something special to get it back fully. It's a bit like the kid who never did anything wrong saying it wasn't me I didn't steal the cakes but is later found out and the trust that everyone had has gone and it has to be earned. I just wanted to say my bit

Back to the issue of homelessness

Well, it's been a while since I wrote anything useful so I'll keep this short and simple. Many of you folk think homelessness is now less of an issue because you only see a few people sleeping rough or walking the streets late at night. The funny thing is there are still quite a number of homeless people and we don't see them because they now hide away at night, so they wont be woken up by police or anyone who will ask them to move on. The other thing is that homelessness is now a wider issue. It doesn't cover people just sleeping rough anymore. Now its about people who are stuck in hostels and hotels, sleeping on Friends floors and sofa's with no hope of having a place of their own.
Council housing was set up to house the people in greatest need. So where did it all go wrong and why ?
Why do we have families in this day and age without homes?
Why do the single homeless people still have to fight for the right to have a home?
Why is it nearly impossible to get an emergency bed for someone living on the streets?
Did we really become too dependent on the right to buy factor?
Is this why we stopped building social housing?
Have the government got it wrong once again?
Is there any real solutions to the housing problems we are facing?
These are the questions I am asking now I'm back to something like my old self.
I know I wont write as much but I will write about what's relevant

Still on about homelessness years later

Since I became a member of the nearly normal society brigade. I have had several interviews and things concerning homelessness and every year it I am still writing the same old thing and still talking about ways to tackle homelessness. Strange as it might sound but it’s true. The question of homelessness is an unrelenting issue.
I now am asking has being homeless become a minor crime because it does seem to be as council after council try to stop people sleeping on the streets. I have to admit to the ingenious tactics they have used ( why can’t they use the same logic on the state of council estates} but until we all really admit that there is still a big problem, (which by the way is growing once again }It's estimated that approximately over a 800 people sleep rough on any given night right across Britain and that over 400 hundred thousand sleep in temporary accommodation such as friends sofa's, hostels and night shelters and so forth. Now the summer is nearly here there aren't that many night shelters open and to be truthful some you wouldn’t put your dog in over night. It seems to me that over the last three or four years I have met MPs from various parties and they have all sat there and listened and asked questions but to be truthful nothing much seems to have been done. We have had the odd scheme that has run out of funding and we have had several schemes which have been too costly. It all comes down to money said one MP recently. At this present time and the climate we are now in we don't have that much money to spend and what we do spend on homelessness has been tried and tested. We can see a results for what we spend. I have been thinking about this statement for quite a while now and I have come to this conclusion, The results that this or any government see seems to me to be about the same. one year the figures may be slightly down or static and the next slightly improved and of course we hear about this because any government worth its salt would say things are improving. Even I have to admit that compared with the homeless number ten to twelve years ago there has been a dramatic drop but things speak for themselves and the steady rise we are seeing all over the country needs to be addressed especially when you find people sleeping rough out of site of the public. These are the people that need to be included in any government statistic. I also heard that the rise in homelessness is due to the population rise of E.U immigrants looking for work. I know we say we are looking for new ways to end homelessness by twenty twelve but I really do think this is one target that cannot be reached. Homelessness has been with us through the ages as history shows us. Yes it is time to end it for good but with poverty increasing how do we do this? Do we hide it while the Olympics are here or do we say yes we have a problem just like any other country and we are tackling it and we will and can.
I know in the past we have tried work houses as history tells us. Today they are called hostels but its not the brutal regime of the past. It has now become the place where you are ina static posution. Limbo if you like.. Where you have hope that things can move on from here. There is one thing that applies to the past and today situations and that is once you’re in the homeless system its hard to escape. Coming from me that might seem funny as I now have my own flat and live quite a reasonable life. Which is what I would like to see all over the country but what I have now took me nearly a life time to get because no one really knew how to tackle the problems I had and there are so many out there that don't have as long as I have had.
Learning more about homelessness and it's true affects on people.
The root causes of homeless and how to break the cycle and habits of homelessness I think just the tip of the iceberg. The problem is that once you’re in the cycle of homelessness and have been there for quite sometime integrating a person back into society is harder than it sounds. Its about giving a person back there self worth and belief. Yes they have to be taught the skills needed to get back to work and so forth but the real problem is that addicts who have been so comforted by the bottle and drugs has been a crutch and taking away that crutch leaves them nothing. Homelessness has that same addictive quality this is why i believe we have a constant flow of people becoming homeless over and over again. This is where I still believe that former homeless people and addicts are the key to getting things right. But at this moment the main obstacle to this all is the Governments Quick fix target of twenty twelve. Everyone knows that putting a plaster on a wound before cleaning it leads to trouble. Is this government just putting a plaster on so you when the Olympics finally do arrive no one watching it on TV will see the homeless person sitting in a sleeping bag While the marathon is being run?

Not saying much these days

I don't write that much these days but there are times I do have moments of bright clarity and think to myself why the hell am I still writing about homelessness in 2009. Well to put it simply we still have a homelessness problem all over this country and as the government introduce all kinds of initiatives to combat the problem I believe we are falling short. Now I listen to the news and I always keep an open mind when I hear things on homelessness. The thing is I have been there on those streets and I can tell you once you get there its hard to get away from them. They say that abuse and family break up are causes of homelessness and it is true but I also believe the shame of poverty is one of the greatest causes of people sleeping rough today because they made a mistake in thinking there was a better life in another new town and things would be so different, its that new place fresh start thing. So off they go with a suitcase full of dreams and a few quid in there pocket and for some they have just what the stand in. Before they know whats happened to their new life it's the old one but in a much much worse way because now they have a huge drink and drug problem and are surrounded by friends in the same situation and most of them came looking for something better. They all were also so full of hope that that hope now lays dormant sometimes never coming back. The question is what is the solution to the problem? Well I think it starts where many people came from and to create some kind of help at the starting point. Preventing it is herder that it seems. Everything has to start somewhere. We all know what the end result if we don't think and act quickly enough. Its fine giving people all these skills but if the underlying cause to thier problems aren't solved its juat a waste. How's that for clarity?

What next

I've been talking to a few people where I live and I asked about the cold weather and how they were coping and I was told in no uncertain terms that these were the hardest times for many years. What with the price of gas and electric and so many people now not working and the fact that four people told me they were on benefits and had only one payment off the cold weather payment payed by the dss and job seekers. Now I know that this should be payed if the cold drops to zero or the average temp over seven days is zero or below. So I tried to ask the dss directly if this was true as the average temp during the end of dec to end of jan was zero with only two days in that time reaching plus three but I had no luck as they said they could not comment. So my next plan of action was to ask an MP but as you know it snowed and i am left with a sore bum and red face as i slipped and nearly broke my leg. I will get round to it as soon as I can. Other things on my mind are, Are the government and MPs from other parties so out of touch with the people that they now are thinking up quick fix policies? I for one think they are and I can't help but think what will they think of next. Will it be send all drug addict to the moon or there will be a national charge to use your local parks? Who knows? What I do know is that this is not a reccession it's the beginning of a depression if you look back in history both here and America there are so many things that are the same. anyway that's what I think but who cares what I think anyway.

Its time

Well I might not be myself these days but I still listen to the news and make my own mind up about things for instance this thing about the banks and the doom and gloom that has followed them about. well here's my take on this issue, banks have been so stupid yet in the process have made a few more people rich and what we used to call the middle class are now much better off and the poor are now poorer. This only partly due to the banks. They sold loans and things to unsafe people and project but this was partly due to the government as well making people believe that owning their own home was the bees knees and the thing to do and the government kept on and on about this being the way forward so banks followed suit the result is what we have now. We have partly nationalised the banks why not go the full hog and get things moving by making them lend to business