07 February, 2006
Silly blinkered me.
I was shopping this morning in my local Tesco's and someone tapped me on the shoulder and said hi Jamie, for the life of me I couldn't remember the name but I knew the face. Then he said I saw you on TV at Christmas and I started to think about things. I have now been a month clean from drugs and drink and I just wanted to say thank you. I was a little embarrassed as there was a whole queue of people behind. His name was Jim. He was one of those guys you see everyday on Charing Cross road near the huge center point building buying their drugs or you see them with blankets over their shoulders walking at such a fast pace down new Oxford street trying to keep up with their dealers or there's two or three of them huddled at the back of the shops. Just after they have scored but to see someone that's trying to come off is amazing. I sometimes forget how hard it is to stay clean and sober. It's been a while since I kicked my own habit and waking up in the morning not being sick and needing drugs to make it through my day is great. Being normal whatever that is? Is fine too but it's when people like Jim and my friend Alan try to improve their own lives I am at my most happiest even if they fail because I know they will try again at some stage. It only takes one moment in someone's life to make that change for good permanent. Someone once said I go around blinkered because I have changed and I no longer see the hardship of people like myself. I think the words they used were do gooder. I beg to differ because I am no one special I am just a man with a past just like everyone else in this world. An unsavoury one I will admit but we all make mistakes. Just because I have done a few things even I wouldn't have dreamed I would do. Doesn't make me anything more than what I am. Blinkered? No just passionate about helping others do what I've done.