26 October, 2005
Who would have thought I would be writing about having a normal life? At this moment I don't think my life is that normal but it is getting there. My friends now come round to my tiny flat to tell me their problems like Henry. His girlfriend left him yesterday morning and he came round to my house thinking that I would help ease his heartache but I did the opposite I told him exactly what I thought and boy did he storm out. This morning he rings me to tell me I was right. Which makes a change. Jamie the agony aunt, God is that what I've become? Every week seems to be a struggle to keep ahead of all my bills and then there's more bills but I guess this is part of being normal. Trying to catch up with things because of problems I've had, I'm finding hard, but I would not change the way I am now. When I wake up in the morning and open my eyes to feel the cold air from the open window touch my skin. I know I am alive and not the shell I was before, although some days it is a struggle not to dwell on my past mistakes. Although the strangeness of me being able to think clearly is still somewhat new. I guess I do lead a nearly normal life just like everyone else and to be honest it's quite nice. It's funny but when you look in the bathroom mirror and like what you see you realize just how good things are. We are not starving or dying and we don't have to worry too much about wars or tropical storms. It's hard sometimes to realise just how lucky some of us really are.