15 November, 2005

Monday morning blues

I guess I can tell the world I am normal at last. Whatever normal means. This morning I did not wake up to the joyous sound of the number 53 bus passing my window. I woke up in a foul mood for the first time in ages. Then if that wasn't enough I had to shave and believe me I hate shaving. You can guarantee I will have blood poring from my chin. The thing is I have been under an illusion that because of my past history with drugs and being homeless. I am not quite normal and I have been striving for God knows what. Every time I reach a goal I set myself there's another to take it's place. I seem to make just living life hard work most of the time these days. Would I change the way I am ? Would I hell. I think when you get to liking yourself and other people you are near enough to being human as you can be. That's a strange thing for me to say as I have never felt part of anything let alone the human race. I think that was due to being a second class citizen and no one noticing that I was alive especially me. Being alive inside, it's Something I have not felt in a long time. So if every Monday I wake up and I have those Monday blues I can actually say they are a blessing in disguise because rather than make me miserable as they do most people. They make me tired and lethargic for about half an hour. Then like a coat I just take it off and get back to being me.

1 comment:

Alan Connor said...

Jamie: I'm researching a piece for BBC2's The Daily Politics on John Prescott's plan to provide broadband for homeless people (details here), and was wondering what you made of it. If you might be able to tell me by the end of tomorrow, that would be fantastic! I'll be in touch--

--Alan Connor